What to say to your kids when a pet dies

We recently lost our pet cat of 13 years. Our cat was the first pet my nine-year-old daughter knew and loved, and we considered him a member of our family. He was so good with my daughter when she would dress him up, spontaneously pick him up for cuddles, or attempt to teach him tricks for treats. He was her “bud.” He was a buddy to all of us.

Our hearts broke when we suddenly lost him. Who knew one little bundle of fur could have such an impact on our lives and our hearts!?

As soon as I suspected something was wrong with our cat, I brought him to the vet. It was a school day, but before my daughter left that morning I made it clear that our cat was sick and was going to see his vet. I told her because our cat was not eating or drinking and generally wasn’t himself, and in case the worst case scenario happened while my daughter was at school, I felt honesty was the best policy. Had she been younger, I may have simplified it a bit by saying he was going to the “doctor” because he wasn’t feeling well, but she is older and recognized he had not been eating or drinking.

When the vet told me it was cancer and the outlook was grim, my immediate thoughts went to my daughter – how was I going to tell her that her “bud” would never get better? Within 24 hours of that diagnosis, we said goodbye to our beloved family cat.

My daughter had yet to lose a close family member and I wanted to make sure I could help her understand death as best I could. At first, I struggled with how to talk to my daughter about when a pet dies. I found this discussion especially hard because I was emotional too.

What to say to your kids when a pet dies

Firstly, I let her know that it is common for pet owners to feel as though they’ve lost a member of the family when their pet dies. Not all family members are human. Our cat was a member of our family for 13 years!

Show emotion

I also let her know that is okay (and good) to feel sad and show emotion. We cuddled and cried a lot together that first couple of days.

Share special memories

Amidst the tears we each shared special memories, funny stories and looked through old pictures of our cat.

Answer questions the best you can

When questions arose regarding why it happened so quickly, I assured her the veterinarians did everything they could to try and help our cat and were very kind. I also reassured her that our cat is no longer in pain or is scared.

Be honest

One thing I wanted to make sure of was that my daughter understood that our cat died. I wanted her to understand death and not think our cat was at a fictional farm – even if she were younger I would still make sure she understood this on whatever level she would have been comfortable with. I let my daughter guide me about how much information she needed, but remained truthful.

My daughter believes our cat is in “pet heaven” now. She often tells our dog, who continues to look for her furry friend, to look up at the sky – because the cat is probably up there telling her to not eat his treats. When I hear this it makes me sad all over again, but I don’t hide my sadness. I want her to know that it’s okay to cry when you are feeling sad.

Keep the conversation going

We continue to talk about our cat and have discussed adopting another cat… but not as a replacement, and not right away. Our hearts need to mend first before we welcome another cat into our family.

My daughter has handled our cat's death very well - better than me, I think! She has asked lots of questions regarding what we're going to do with his stuff, where his spirit is, and if it feels weird to expect to see him all the time. And I answer each question as best and as honestly as I can.

When considering a pet for your family, always keep in mind how you will handle it when your pet passes away. Losing a pet is the one thing my husband dreads the most when it comes to owning a pet, and unfortunately love and loss go hand-in-hand.

Visiting the Montreal Biodome

My family loves weekend road trips. My daughter loves staying in hotels (especially those with pools) and more so, she loves exploring new places – and we love surprising her. So, we recently surprised her with a weekend road trip to Montreal.

The focus of our trip was the Montreal Biodome. My daughter loves animals, nature and loves learning about different habitats, so we knew she would love the Biodome. We had heard it was a great place to bring kids and was the kind of educational, interactive activity that would keep nature-loving kids busy all day.

The Biodome, the Insectarium, the Botanical Garden and the Planetarium make up what is called the Montreal Space for Life, which is the largest natural science complex in Canada. It is situated in Montreal’s 1976 Olympic Park, which my husband and I found fascinating on its own. We spent most of our time trying to figure out which event was held where before looking it up on the Internet.

What is the Biodome?

The Montreal Biodome has four different ecosystems– the Laurentian Maple Forest, a Tropical Rainforest, the Gulf of St. Lawrence and Sub-polar regions. Within each are plants and animals native to each ecosystem. There are also interactive tablets and signage that explains what a particular animal or plant is and how they fit into that particular ecosystem.

Under the St. Lawrence

You start your journey through the Biodome by walking through the rainforest, which is quite warm and humid. If you look up you will find sloths sleeping in trees, tamarins and marmosets swinging from branch to branch, and numerous tropical birds singing and flying about. 

The rainforest was my daughter’s favourite ecosystem because it was a “where’s Waldo” of trying to locate the different species that were housed there. There were also a variety of tropical plants and flowers, many of which we were encouraged to touch and smell.

A Capybara calls the Rainforest in Montreal's Biodome home.

Following the rainforest you are led into what can be a much chillier eco-system depending on the time of year you visit – the Laurentian Maple Forest. We were at the Biodome in late fall, so this area was the same temperature as outside, which was quite a shock after being in a hot rainforest. The animals here are more familiar to us Eastern Canada folk, but it’s a great place to get up close with some of our local wildlife, such as the porcupine, Canada lynx and the raccoon.  Our favourite part of this area was the river otter that was so curious and playful he constantly wanted to jump and swim and see who was there to watch him. He was adorable and was definitely a memorable part of our day.

The Gulf of St. Lawrence was a fascinating area for those interested in sea life including seeing how big an Atlantic Sturgeon really is! The shore part of this area had birds swooping right over our heads (watch out for bird poop!) and in the underwater area we were able to see sea urchins and jelly fish as though we were at a larger aquarium.

Sea star

The area I was most amazed at was the sub-polar region. Although it wasn’t as large as the other areas it had two of my favourite species – Atlantic puffins and penguins. I had never seen a penguin in person before so it was fascinating watching them dive, swim and waddle around.

Sleeping penguin in the sub-polar ecosystem in Montreal's Biodome

All said and done there are more than 200 hundred species living in the Biodome. I hate seeing animals in captivity and really hope these animals were rescued or bred in captivity… but to be honest, I don’t know. All of the animals do look well cared for and their habitats are clean.

We would definitely go back to the Biodome. My daughter had a great time there and her only wish is that it was bigger. In addition to the ecosystems there is also a room downstairs called the “Naturalia” where kids can learn more about the animals from each ecosystem. My daughter liked this room because there was a skull of a two-tusk narwhal, which apparently is pretty rare.

Puffins

The Biodome isn’t open late (which I hope is to give the animals a rest). The price point is reasonable in comparison to other science centres and zoos. Adults are $19.75 each plus tax and children ages 5 to 17 are $10 each plus tax. Residents of Quebec cost a little less and their also family rates available.

In addition to the Biodome, we also went to the Insectarium, which was part of a package price, but was nearly the same price as the Biodome. After being at the Biodome, where we learned so much and saw so much, the Insectarium was a disappointment. It was quite small and the Canadian Museum of Nature in Ottawa houses similar displays of encased bugs and overall, we left feeling as though we didn’t see anything we hadn’t already seen before. After the many interactive and live exhibits at the Biodome, the stationary exhibits at the Insectarium seemed to repeat themselves over and over again. Next time we will visit the Planetarium instead, as we have heard great things about it.

Colourful Bugs at Montreal's Insectarium

The Olympic Park was under construction when we went and the weather wasn’t ideal for walking around too much, but all of the Space for Life buildings are within a 10-minute walking distance and you can even go up the Montreal Tower, which is 165 meters, for a birds eye view of Montreal. I would love to go back in the summer and explore the Botanical Gardens as well, which apparently has over 30 impressive outdoor gardens and greenhouses. You could easily spend a day or two exploring Montreal’s Olympic Park.

Tips for an easy trip to the Biodome:

1) Pack a lunch and snacks – there is a café and cafeteria on site, but the prices aren’t great and the food isn’t the most child-friendly (at least it wasn’t when we were there).

2) Bring a twoonie for the locker – if you are travelling in winter, do yourself a favour and put your winter coats, etc. in a paid locker. It will make exploring the rainforest ecosystem a lot more comfortable and enjoyable.

3) Use your GPS and plan your route – we found finding parking confusing, so thank goodness for our GPS! And Google Maps. If you’re a planner and like to know where you are going then don’t forget your GPS (or Siri) – it will make travelling around Montreal much easier, especially during rush hour.

4) Know their hours - like many museums, the Biodome is typically closed on Mondays (the exception being some holidays).

Give the Gift of Learning to Read with Ooka Island

Some kids seem to pick up reading at an early age and are motivated to practice and improve. Other kids? Well, let's just say the process is not so smooth. Reading can be a hard skill to master, and those active little people in your life may be resisting your attempts to get them reading on a regular basis.

This holiday season, you may be tempted to run out to the bookstore and pick a number of books you think your child would like to read. While this sometimes works, there are other (easier!) ways to get their noses stuck in a book.

Ooka Island is an adaptive, game-based learn-to-read program that develops strong early reading skills through 24 levels of educational activities and 85 ebooks. Share your love of reading with a budding bookworm in your life by gifting them a subscription to learn-to-read on Ooka Island! 

Wait, what? Reading can become a game?

Yes! And a fun game at that! Lara's daughter begs to play this "computer game," and has given us her review of the program:

I like it because I can get a package of little books to read and you can play games. I also like the previews free play because as a reward for reading the books, you get to choose what you play. I also loves the alphabet song and the characters. Two more things I like: when you are rewarded with stickers and money to buy stuff like dogs, shorts, and bears.

Ooka Island makes you a promise: send your child to Ooka Island for 30 minutes, three times a week and they’ll graduate a confident reader in ONE YEAR. That's pretty impressive! Ooka also sends parents weekly progress reports that provide a detailed picture of where their child is excelling or having difficulty in reading. This actionable information empowers parents to maximize their child’s learning and to have meaningful and productive dialogue with teachers. 

How can I give the gift of reading?

Parents, grandparents, and family members will love that instead of buying another toy for the special child in their life, that they can give them the gift of reading with a ticket to Ooka Island, where children become confident, fluent readers.  If you have an emerging reader in your family, click here to give them the gift of reading this Christmas!

Giving the gift of reading is easier than ever. Ooka Island now allows family and loved ones to purchase a gift subscription (3 month or 1 year program) that can be redeemed at anytime by the recipient.  Every ticket to Ooka Island can be printed or sent to the recipient by email. With three gift subscriptions to choose from, Ooka Island is the perfect holiday gift for early readers!

Starter Subscription ($34.99 CDN / $29.99 USD)

Gift a 3 month starter subscription to Ooka Island and jumpstart them into reading. An excellent choice for any child!

1-Year Program ($99.99 CDN / $89.99 USD)

Gift a 12 month subscription and watch them become a confident reader! Recommended to complete program.

1-Year Program + Books* ($149.99 CDN & USD)

Gift little learners their first paperback library with a colorful collection of 11 Ooka books bundled with the 1-Year Program

*Shipping is free.
 

So if you are looking for a gift that will encourage a child's love reading a subscription to Ooka Island is perfect!

And don't forget to enter our Holiday Giveaway, where you get a chance to win a one year subscription to Ooka Island and a set of books!

This post is part of our 2016 Holiday Campaign, with support from Tag Along Toys, The Canadian Museum of Nature, Saunders Farm and Ooka Island. Make sure to enter our giveaway!

WE Day Ottawa & The WE Movement

The morning of November 9th I woke up to somber political news from south of the border.  Like many, I was left feeling shocked, confused, scared, and uneasy. I also didn’t know how to share the news with my eight-year-old daughter, who was greatly interested in the possibility of a female president of the United States.

I spoke to my disappointed daughter about the fact that people will work together for the greater good under the new American presidency because that’s what good people do - but I remained doubtful. There was good news that morning though; my daughter would be joining me as a Junior Reporter at our first ever WE Day. She was very excited to be going, especially once she heard Prime Minister Justin Trudeau would be speaking.

Until that day, I had only heard about the WE Day events that are held across Canada (and the US) every year, but I had never attended. I had heard kids at my daughter’s bus stop talk about how excited they were to go and how inspired they were once the event was over. I knew the youth-focused event consisted of musicians, actors and well known public figures, but what I didn’t realize is that WE Day is a part of a powerful movement that brings people together and gives them tools and resources to change the world.

WE “engages and empowers youth to lead through service, build compassionate communities and transform participants into active world-changers in the process.”

WE Day Ottawa opened with Governor General David Johnston entering the stage with a joyful little dance that made everyone smile. He explained what the day was all about.  Co-hosted by E! hosts Tyrone Edwards and Chloe Wilde as well as award-winning singer-song writer, Jully Black and Canadian TV Host Maripier Morin, the motivational day kicked off with a positive and uplifting vibe that made everyone in the Canadian Tire Centre applaud, cheer and smile.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau

Every adult in the room hung onto Prime Minister Trudeau’s words that morning. Everyone listened as he told us, “ no matter one’s age – we all have a responsibility to take a positive role in shaping the future of Canada and the world.”

WE Are Canada

Prime Minister Trudeau also spoke about an exciting new WE initiative called #WEAreCanada. In celebration of Canada’s 150th birthday, WE has created a bilingual educational curriculum that will directly engage millions of young Canadians to focus on making local, national and international impacts. For every We Are Canada Pledge made at WE.ca, $10 will be donated to support WE’s local and global programs. The #WeAreCanada movement is a great way for Canada's youth to celebrate our country’s unique diversity and culture.

Paula Abdul, onstage at WE Day Ottawa

Paula Abdul

Throughout the day we heard from numerous motivational speakers including American singer-songwriter, Paula Abdul, who talked about making the things we want to do possible. Paula talked about how her passion to be a dancer superseded the negative comments she received and that her passion is what led her to be a cheerleader for the Lakers, which in effect opened the doors to future opportunities. She also emphasized the fact that we need to lift each other up and make each other better.

Inspiring speakers and performers of WE Day Ottawa

The rest of the day followed the same principle – to lift each other up, help one another and spread love and acceptance. Margaret Trudeau spoke about mental health stigma and shared stories from her own battle with bipolar disorder.

Other inspirational speakers included Rick Hansen, Jacob Hoggard, Michael Downie (brother of Gord Downie) and the sisters of Chanie Wenjack. We also heard empowering speeches from the 17-year old author of Kakuma Girls, Clare Morneau, who spoke about the stories she collected for the book from girls in the Kakuma Refugee Camp, and artist and Make-A-Wish recipient, Annie Bartlett.

KaliAndrews Dance Company

Intermixed with the inspirational and philanthropic messages and stories were uplifting performances from Classified, Serena Ryder, Tyler Shaw and Hedley.

The WE co-founders, Craig and Marc Keilburger spoke about the amazing achievements made by WE Day youth activists and energized the crowd with their passion to promote positive change at the community and global levels.

Craig and Marc Keilburger, co-Founders of WE

At the end of the day, the message I took away from my time at WE Day Ottawa was that the world can be changed by just one person - and it starts with our youth. In addition to taking the time to familiarize ourselves and our children with the issues that are affecting the global community, we need to also create positive change in our own neighbourhoods, including helping our kids #RiseAbove cyberbullying.

Anyone can participate in the WE Movement – all it takes is a commitment to make change in the world. And what better time to work toward positive changes in our world then right now!

In the words of my Junior Reporter, “WE day is a day where people inspire other people and where people talk a lot about the good things they do, and not the bad things they do. If you go, you will see people on stage and people cheering. You will feel inspired too.”

The WE Movement celebrates people coming together. Did you know you can’t buy a ticket to WE Day? People (mostly youth) earn their ticket by taking action on one local or one global cause. WE Day celebrates these changes and encourages more people to join in and participate.

WE Families

It’s for that reason that Kids in the Capital has decided to become a WE Families Ambassador. What does that mean? It means we have committed to raise kids to care, to be compassionate and to make a difference locally and globally.  WE provided us with a kit to get started with activities that are fun, easy and will make a difference.

At home we talk about global issues of inequality and homelessness. We work together to see what we can do to make changes close to us that could affect the world at large. We donate to food banks and volunteer when possible and where needed.

We also make environmental issues a priority through the WE Take Charge campaign by setting our thermostat up two degrees in the summer and down in the winter (and discussing why this matters). We recycle, donate and reuse everything possible and are vigilant of our water usage and make conscious conservation efforts such as using a rain barrel to water flowers in the summer.

Craig Keilburger and Jacob Hoggard talking about how to get families involved with the WE Movement

There are so many things families can do to bring the WE Movement into their homes and encourage children to learn about the world around them, teach them how their actions impact others, and show them that what they do matters to the world at large. For more information on how you can get your family involved in the WE Movement visit: https://www.we.org/we-at-home/we-families/ 

Be Who You Are with Todd Parr

If you're not familiar with children's book author and illustrator, Todd Parr then this post will introduce you to a colourful way to educate and entertain young children who love books. Todd has written and published over 30 colourful children's books that teach children about kindness, acceptance and feeling good about themselves.

I first discovered Todd's books when a friend gave my daughter The Daddy Book as a third birthday gift. Like his other books, this story is told through simple yet colourful illustrations and easy to read and understand sentences. In The Daddy Book he tells the story of different dads, including how some "daddies work at home" and "some daddies work far away." 

All of Todd's books celebrate what makes someone special, whether that person be a parent, a family or a child - including the reader themselves! The books also encourage early literacy, multiculturalism, promote character growth and strengthen friendships and relationships. Every book is cheerful and leaves the reader feeling good about themselves - and who doesn't love that? 

Although my daughter reads chapter books on her own now, she still loves Todd Parr's books and we plan on passing on our love of his books to other young children in our family. It was with this in mind that I was excited to hear Todd will be publishing a new children's book in October called, Be Who You Are.

Be old. Be young.
Speak your language. Be proud of where you’re from.
Just BE WHO YOU ARE!

I reached out to Todd and asked him a few questions about where he gets his inspiration from and what his new book is all about. Here is what he had to say:

Q. What is your inspiration for writing so many books about situations and lives that impact so many children? 

A. A lot of this stems from my childhood. I struggled with so many issues I write about. I was always trying to be like everyone else instead of just being who I was. I think the more you can help build children’s confidence and teach them about kindness, difference, and being different will make them better human beings. 

Q. Your messages for kids are so powerful! My daughter and I own several of your books, including The Family Book, The Daddy Book, The Mommy Book and It’s Okay to be Different - and just when I think you have run out of ideas you come out with another topical book! What is the inspiration behind your newest book, Be Who You Are? 

A. Thank you. This is something that took me years to learn when I was growing up. Finally, I realized that I needed to stop trying to be like everyone else and just be myself. Things got a lot easier after that. 

Q. I love your use of humour and your colourful art style to get your message across - where does it come from? 

A. My dad, he was always doing stuff to make me laugh. I rely on humour as well as my simple art style to better help me deliver the messages I write about given that some are hard for younger children to understand. And the word underwear makes every kid laugh. 

Q. What is one of your favourite books from those you have written so far? 

A. "The Goodbye Book." It took me so long to come up with a way to help deal with loss. This book is so simple and matter of fact. I’ve seen how it’s helped kids deal with “goodbye” but also every year old adults. 

Q. Growing up, did you find it hard to be who you are? 

A. Yes, I did not fit in. I was not interested in most things that the rest of the kids were. I grew up in a very small town which did not make things any easier. 

Q. Who was your favourite children’s author growing up? 

A. Dr. Suess.

Q. Any chance of coming to Canada (Ottawa in particular) to speak to a few local schools who I know would love to hear you?

A. I love Canada! I’ve been to several cities there. In November I will be speaking at a teachers conference in Edmonton. Hopefully, I can make it to Ottawa one day soon. 

Special thanks to Todd for answering my questions!

I'd love to know if any of our readers are Todd Parr fans and if so, what's your favourite Todd Parr book? You can add Be Who You Are to your book shelves on October 26th.