Surviving a pandemic winter as a parent
/The anxiety is building. Winter is coming, and with it, the snow, ice, wind and darkness. But what makes this winter even harder is the fact that we’re living through a pandemic, which doesn’t show signs of disappearing anytime soon.
No group is approaching this winter with more dread than us parents. We’ve already lived through a hellish number of months working from home while supporting our kids’ distance learning, and while some of us made the decision to send our kids back to in-person school, the threat of outbreaks and school closures looms.
Within this diverse group of parents are many different realities. Some may be living in cramped apartments, while others have access to large yards and lots of space. Some have faced financial hardships, while others have found their savings accounts growing due to the lack of spending. Some are battling mental health issues, physical disabilities or health challenges. Whatever your situation, the winter may take its toll.
So what’s a parent to do? Check out some of the suggestions below:
Adopt a winter mindset
One strategy may be to adopt a positive mindset towards winter, which research tells us can improve emotional and physical health during the long, cold months. This involves getting outside in all kinds of weather, making sure you have appropriate clothing to keep yourself warm and comfortable, and maybe even challenging yourself by taking on a new winter sport (hiking, snowshoeing, skiing or skating are all popular options.)
Of course, this type of positive psychology only works if your current situation is manageable. For those facing severe mental illness or physical health challenges, it’s not going to do much good to suggest you just “buck up” and put on a happy face. In these situations, support from professionals and help outside the home is essential - Ottawa Public Health has some good resources to check out.
Or maybe you just hate winter…and that’s A-OK. Even if you have no interest in happily playing in the snow, you can still work on developing an appreciation of all winter has to offer - including the opportunity to sit in front of a window while sipping on coffee and Bailey’s and watching the beautiful snow fall outside your window.
Break it up
Remember that winter is not one loooong period of sameness. There’s the winter lead-up (November and December) when the days are shortest and many individuals struggle with low mood. Then holidays arrive and people perk up a bit (or maybe it’s all the sugar and booze). Finally, days start to get longer and longer, and a taste of spring is upon us.
If you can’t face the next 6 months, take it one week or one month at a time. Focus on what you can do in that shorter timeframe that will help you make it through!
Plan, plan, plan
This is probably not the time to “wing it.” As we’ve seen throughout this entire pandemic, everyone is thinking up ways to cope. People are taking on new hobbies and purchasing equipment for their homes. So two months from now, when you realize you should have bought that set of skis you saw on sale last month, they’re sold out. If you have the financial means to purchase warm clothing and winter sports equipment, the time to start shopping is now.
Planning also means purposefully carving out time for activities that will boost your mood this winter. Maybe this is a weekly Zoom potluck/brunch with friends, or outdoor activities that are safe to do at a distance. It doesn’t even have to be an activity that takes any effort - maybe you decide to “Zoom in” with a loved one once per week while you both just read or eat a meal. This way there’s no pressure to stare at the screen and talk, but you get the sense that someone is in the room with you - cutting through that loneliness you may be experiencing.
Meaningful social connection
If you’re tiring of Zoom wine nights or online seminars, it’s time to start building more meaningful social connection. The reality is that we ARE stuck in this pandemic a while longer, and many options for socializing are unavailable to us right now. Meaningful connection nourishes your soul. For individuls who are really struggling, this may involve meeting with someone in person (safely, wearing masks or at a distance).
This could also mean using your own stregnths to reach out to vulnerable people. Writing letters or having your kids draw pictures for local nursing homes; baking cookies for an elderly neighbour; or offering to take someone out for a walk who may need help navigating the snow/ice. Not only are these activities boosting THEIR mood, but they’re also boosting yours. When we feel like we’re part of a community, we feel a sense of belonging - this is essential to well-being.
Embracing the suckiness
Sometimes life is just hard, and no amount of strategizing will ease the burden. We tend think that embracing negative emotions, like depression, anxiety and anger, will make them worse - but research tells us otherwise. The power these emotions have over us will ease when we learn to live with them.
If it’s a bad day, admit that it’s a bad day - if you can, call in sick, crawl under the covers and take a mental health break. This is a really important lesson for our kids as well, as they learn to navigate difficult emotions and survive in a world that upholds happiness as the pinnacle.
What are some of the ways you’re planning to cope with winter?
