10 Things You Can Do for Someone Going Through Cancer

When I was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer, my daughter was only 6 years old. It was a difficult time, full of uncertainty, fear, anger, helplessness. I felt overwhelmed and exhausted most of the time, and so did my husband and our young daughter as well.  When cancer hits, it sweeps through the whole family.

After slowly coming to terms with the diagnosis, we began telling family and close friends. And as the news filtered out to our wider community of friends, neighbours, colleagues, and even acquaintances, we found people wanted to help but weren’t always sure what to do or how to ask. In the end, it was simpler and easier for everyone if we just let people know exactly what we needed and how they could help.

So here’s a list of 10 things you can do for someone going through cancer:

1.       Deliver a meal. It doesn’t have to be fancy or made of only organic ingredients. If you are making a meal for your own family, double it up and bring it over. Remember to not only think of the cancer patient but the rest of the family, which may include young children. A batch of pasta sauce that can be frozen for later use is a good option. Here’s a handy and free scheduling tool called the Care Calendar. Family and friends can use this to coordinate meals. http://www.carecalendar.org

2.       Show up on their doorstep with an empty laundry basket. Routine household chores are probably not high on their priority list, but still need to get done sooner or later. Returning a basketful of freshly laundered and folded clothes will be a tremendous help.

3.       Run errands or pick up a few groceries. If you are worried about showing up at the wrong time, have them leave a list in the mailbox that you can pick up in the morning, or pre-arrange a convenient time. If you are doing a run to the pharmacy or grocery store anyway, picking up some extra items is not a big deal.

4.       Provide childcare. If they have young children, invite them over for a play date with your children. If you don’t have kids, or their kids are older, take them on an outing. Going to a movie will be a welcome distraction. Even a sleepover may work if the child is okay with being away from home. The parent(s) may need a break, as young children don’t understand why mommy or daddy is so tired all the time. Or the parents may need some alone time to chat. And the children may need time away from home to have some fun.

5.       Accompany/drive them to appointments and treatments. Having a note-taker during medical appointments is crucial. Doctors pass on a lot of information and use a lot of medical terms, which may not be fully grasped in the moment. Sitting with them during a treatment may be reassuring and will help to pass the time. Even a friendly and familiar face out there in the waiting room can be a source of comfort.

6.       Do exercise, yoga, meditation with them. Any type of activity that is enjoyable and good for their well-being will be welcome. It will help them feel better and gives you both something to focus on besides trying to fill up those awkward gaps in conversation.

7.       Check in with their spouse or caregiver. They are often forgotten in all of this. They are usually doing double duty especially if there are kids involved so they can be physically and emotionally drained.

8.       Don’t be afraid to talk to the kids about it. Adults are often afraid to bring up bad news with kids. They don’t want to upset them but kids are intuitive. They know what’s going on. They will probably appreciate it if you ask how mom or dad or their sibling is doing. They may need someone outside of the family circle to talk to. If you’re unsure about this, check with the parents first.

9.       Just be there and listen. Don’t offer advice (unless specifically asked for) and don’t bring up stories about Aunt Mary who went through the same thing. Everyone’s experience is different. Sit, hold their hand, pass a tissue, give a hug, make a cup of tea, let them be the lead.

10.   Send a card. It will let them know you are aware of what’s going on and you are thinking of them. Emily McDowell’s empathy cards will hit just the right note.

It was truly heartwarming when so many people found ways to help us during my cancer experience. And it wasn’t only family and close friends but distant neighbours, friends of friends, people we know casually. We will always be grateful for the heartfelt support we received during this difficult time. It made the journey that much easier. As The Beatles sang so well, “Oh I get by with a little help from my friends”.

Colleen Kanna is a breast cancer champion and creator of coKANna designs, a line of bamboo knit, Canadian-made clothing for women touched by breast cancer. Please check out her website at www.cokanna.ca.

Language Development Lab and Childhood Cognition and Learning Lab

Whoa, that's a big title....don't let it scare you! These two laboratories at the University of Ottawa are welcoming and fun environments, dedicated to the study of language learning and child psychology. I had a chance to check out the labs with both of my daughters - the Language Development Lab accepts infants ages 4 months to 24 months, and the Childhood Cognition and Learning Laboratory studies 3 to 5 year-olds. As a researcher myself, I believe strongly in participating in research whenever I can!

So how does it work?

We arrived at the University of Ottawa on a weekday morning, and were greeted in the parking lot by Caitlin, the lab coordinator. Parking is covered, so you don't need to worry about that! Caitlin showed us upstairs to the waiting room, where my girls dove right in to play with the toys they keep stocked for busy little people.

I got a tour of both labs (in the same building), and met with Dr. Cristina Atance and Dr. Christopher Fennell who head up the laboratories. Then we got started!

My 5 year-old was led into a separate room, and I was able to watch her on a monitor with headphones. She was unsure at first, so we spent a couple of minutes showing her that Mommy would be watching her on TV. The activities consisted of a series of games that studied her understanding of self continuity (basically, does she get that there is a "future self" and is she able to save for that self?) You'll find yourself giggling at your child's responses!

In the language lab, I was able to do the experiment with my youngest daughter by holding her on my lap. It only took about 6 minutes (maximum is 10), and objects were presented on a big screen with words playing on a speaker. A video records your child's reactions to the pictures and words.

The director let me know that they're really interested in studying infants who are learning language in bilingual homes. So if you speak two languages with your child, please consider signing up top participate!

What do I get out of it?

How about a big pat on the back for contributing to our knowledge of child psychology and language development? :)

Seriously, though, you'll have a chance to observe your child's understanding of some really important concepts, and an opportunity to participate in future research.

What do my kids get out of it?

It's a really fun outing! They get to play with the toys in the waiting room, and my girls really enjoyed doing the studies. They were also gifted some great swag: a colouring book with crayons, special colouring paper, a t-shirt and a book.

The entire morning took about 2 hours (1.5 hours in the lab, and then tack on extra time for wrangling your kids!) If you're only bringing one child, this would obviously be shorter. They also loved stopping at the coffee shop downstairs to get an almond croissant and take a peek at a living wall that's been constructed in the new part of the building:

To find out more, visit the labs' websites:

Childhood Cognition and Learning Laboratory

Language Development Laboratory

Also give them a follow on Facebook, here and here!

The 'Boro House (Art Table): Creativity for Kids

by Alanna I came across a gem. You know how friends like pages on FB and you sometimes check them out? Well I did just that. "The ‘Boro House – what could that be," I wondered. Low and behold it is a creative program for children and adults.

DING! DING! JUST what I was looking for. My incredibly creative 7 year-old had been looking for a summer camp to go to. I wasn’t looking for a cookie cutter program that would actually stifle her creativity with their rules. I wanted a place where I knew she could experiment, play and create. I signed her up immediately.

I knew I was in for a “Mama, please stay” when we got there. We were greeted by the owner Kelly who instantly won over my daughter. My little girl quickly shooed me off on my way. (Insert stunned look here) When I returned to pick her up 7 hours later, there she was – as happy as a clam. She pulled me over to see all that she had created, in the same breath asking if she could come back. I needed to know more about this program!

The ‘Boro House AKA The Art table has been in existence for 10years. Nestled at 560 Churchill Ave. in the heart of Westboro, the program is run by Kelly Hotte - professional photographer with a background in ECE. According to Kelly, “we believe that creativity is brought to life through the expression of our unique and hidden talents.”

My daughter and I would agree. Each child is given a high quality drawing book to use as they wish. Kelly provides the materials and the encouragement. Experts are brought in from the community. Everything from cooking with a real chef to doing yoga with a yoga teacher.

Kelly explains that “our program draws on the creativity of local artists as leaders who add knowledge and excitement to our workshops and regular programming. This practice creates a wonderful sense of meaningful community with the children and staff.”

As an Early childhood Specialist I could not agree more. This type of education will inspire children and support their learning. The positive self-esteem that grows from being provided with real life experiences and opportunities is priceless. This is more than your average everyday creative experience. This is a lifelong learning opportunity. Oh, and did I mention she does Adult classes as well?

Alanna lives in Richmond with her husband, two children and four cats. She is an Early Childhood Educator and Algonquin College Professor.

Science FunFest “Rocks”! (…and minerals, and maps, and insects…)

The Canada Science and Technology Museum is closed for repairs, but your kids can still get their science “fix” at Science Funfest. Held annually as part of National Science and Technology Week in October, this FREE event features more than 70 interactive activities for your budding young Einstein, with hands on experiences in energy, forestry, mining, geology, mapping, astronomy and agriculture.

As Funfest veterans, my kids (ages 4 and 8) recommend:

• Bringing in your favourite rocks and fossils for identification • Mining chocolate chip “ore” from a cookie “mine” (HINT: choose your tools wisely and clean up the mine site for biggest profits!) • Creating colourful spin art using solar energy • Seeing glaciers shrink over time in satellite pictures from space • Getting up close and personal with snakes, bugs, and spiders - (parents may be interested in meeting the Emerald Ash Borer; the invasive insect ravaging Ottawa’s ash trees) • Jumping up and down to make an earthquake that can be measured by a seismometer • Spinning the wheel for a skill-testing question in the food safety quiz (…how safe is the food in your lunch box by noon?) • Trying your hand – and eyes! – at land surveying and star-gazing • Starting a chemical reaction to make custom-coloured slime to take home

There are plenty of free giveaways at Science Funfest, so make sure you pick up a complementary “swag bag”. Balloons, face-painting, and Natural Resources Canada’s huge green mascot “NRCat” make it fun for even the littlest ones!

Science Funfest takes place rain or shine on Sunday, October 19 from 11am-4pm at Natural Resources Canada’s Booth Street Complex (on the corner of Booth Street and Carling Avenue across from Dow’s Lake). Dress warmly as some activities are outdoors in tents. Parking is free, and there are a few concessions on site.

Have you been to Science Funfest? What’s your favourite activity? Let me know in the comments.

Wendy is a freelance copywriter in Ottawa and a totally unbiased employee of the Earth Sciences Sector at Natural Resources Canada. 

One for the Birds

Looking for a fun and FREE activity for your kids? Check out Nature Canada's Bird Day Fair on May 31, 2014 (10am to 4pm at Andrew Haydon Park).

Before we purchased our own home, I really knew nothing about birds (um, except that most of them fly....:) ). However, now that we own TREES and have invested in several bird feeders, I'm delighted to see these feathery friends paying us a visit.

Of course my personal favourite is the Chickadee, but the Bird Day Fair will be a celebration of Canada's migratory birds (my chickadees like to hang out all winter!). Some birds travel as far as 25,000 miles round trip from their breeding grounds in the Canadian arctic to their wintering grounds in South America.

Here are some highlights of the day:

• Falcon Ed is back this year by popular demand. Meet life raptors and see their impressive free flight demonstrations
• Join experts on nature walks where you will spot birds and other natural wonders
• Let your creative side loose by helping to build a bird nest big enough to sit in, and learn how to make your own ink prints
• Learn about bird banding, a method that scientists use to study birds, by being banded yourself
• Meet local groups working to protect wildlife

For more information on what is happening at the Bird Day Fair, check out the event page.

If you are interested in volunteering at this event, please contact Sarah Kirkpatrick-Wahl at skirkpatrik-wahl@naturecanada.ca