5 Back to School Tips

by Penny Mayo

It is THAT time of the year again. The time when the evenings get cooler, the days get shorter and we are winding down our summer activities. It is also the time when we are preparing for the transition to back to school. Some parents love the return to routine and the end of camps, while other parents dread the return to making lunches and stressing about making it to school on time. Some kids can’t wait to meet up with their friends and pull out all those new notebooks, while other kids worry about remembering locker combinations and the amount of homework they might receive. Which one are you?

But it really doesn’t matter which one you relate to since there is one uniting factor - that almost everyone has jitters about something as we transition to the new school year.   

How do we curb those first day/week of school jitters for you and your kiddos?

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It is a challenging time for most parents and kids even if it is a time everyone is looking forward to. Here are 5 quick tips to make it through the first week or two.

1.     Keep it very simple!

We’ve all heard how important it is to Keep It Simple. You may be wondering how you can keep it simple when we have no choice but to get the kids to school for the starting bell after being fed, dressed and, hopefully, hair and teeth brushed. But we do have plenty of choice for the hours that we are not at work and school. Just simply keep the expectations for these times low, don’t stress about the chores or the elaborate meals, don’t take on extra commitments and be sure to leave more time to get to places and get things done.

2.     Keep it low key!

Especially for kids and parents who may be nervous or have some anxiety, try to keep it low key. Society and Facebook might make it look like you need to have special first day of school outfits, have a special routine for the first day, have perfect first day of school pictures, have a new school bag and lunch box, etc. Well, the reality is, this is not a true expectation. Your family might work better if you go to school in the clothes you already have in your closet, with the back pack from last year. Save shopping for when the stores are less busy.

3.     Plan ahead!

Planning is hard after a summer of less structured time but the rewards are worth it. During the upcoming long weekend, take the opportunity to cook a few pounds of ground meat, cook some chicken, and bake a couple dozen muffins or protein bars to put in the freezer. In the morning, grab something out of the freezer so you know there is something easy waiting for supper when you get home and some healthy snacks for lunches the next day.

4.     Don’t write a to-do list or make a to-do pile!

If you are anything like me, my house is full of to-do lists and piles of papers that need attention. It only gets worse in the first days and weeks of school when all forms need to be completed NOW! Instead of putting it on the to-do list or the to-do pile – just sit down and fill them out and send them right back to school. Since you are having low key evenings, there is time to just sit down and fill them out.

5.     Allow yourselves to be lazy!

How can we allow ourselves to be lazy when there is so much to do with back to school time? The lazy days of summer makes for a hard transition to the crazy days of fall. If you balance the crazy school and work days in that first week or two with some lazy after dinner times, it will be an easier transition. If you can avoid going out during the evening of the first week of school and instead go for a family bike ride, go to the park or play some video games or board games with your kids, it will really help the transition to when extracurricular activities ramp up. By then you’ll be ready for it since you allowed yourself this calmer transition time.

How are you going to be gentle on yourself and your family during this year’s school start?

Penny Mayo is a parenting coach at Single Parenting for Success

Back to School and Childhood Anxiety

It's back to school again, which means a lot of kids are worried about what the new school year will mean for them in terms of their teacher, friends, homework, etc. But what if these worries are keeping your child up at night? For more than just one night? Is it normal childhood worries or is it anxiety?

A child would much rather be having fun than feeling sick for reasons they don’t understand and no parent likes to see their child so nervous that they can’t sleep for days on end. Some children feel anxious when it comes to public speaking, for others it could be attending a birthday party, and for some just the thought of having to go back to school is enough to make their head hurt.

Anxiety is more than just worry. It is more than just nervous “butterflies”. If your school age child is constantly clingy, cries or suffers from excessive shyness in social situations; has constant worrying or if bellyaches are frequent then your child may be experiencing anxiety. If your child’s regular routine, such as going to school, going over to a friend’s house or participating in activities is affected then your child may be experiencing anxiety. According to Anxiety BC, anxiety affects about 20% of children and adolescents.

If you think your child is experiencing anxiety you may think it is easiest to look online for help, but sometimes something we read online is not enough. Cheryl Grant, MSW, RSW of C&C Counselling Services says it really also comes down to “assessing what's behind it all and the child's beliefs and family dynamics (especially if parents are also dealing with anxiety).”

In addition to seeking professional assistance, there are some books and websites that are informative when it comes to learning more about childhood worries and anxiety. With Cheryl’s help here are some tried and true resources about childhood anxiety:

Books

Wemberley Worried by Kevin Henkes

This storybook is helpful for younger children. Wemberley is a young mouse who worries about everything, but by the end of the book she realizes that she worries about so much that she has no cause for her worry.

This book is great for young kids who tend to worry about every little thing: will my friends still like me, will I have a good time, etc. It lets them know that worry is normal, but that it shouldn’t get in the way from experiencing new things.

The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn

Told through the story of a mother raccoon comforting her child raccoon by kissing its paw before it leaves for school, The Kissing Hand is a great book for younger children who may have separation anxiety or are anxious about leaving their parents on the first day of daycare or school. The message is that their parents will always be with them – even when they are not physically present.

When My worries get too big! A Relaxation Book for Children who live with Anxiety by Kari Dunn

This book teaches children self-calming techniques, including meditation and yoga positions and has some activities that reading-level children can work through to identify their levels of anxiety.

What To Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huber

This book includes activities and promotes valuable discussions between a parent and their child. If you have trouble discussing or understanding childhood anxiety then this book is a great tool to start the conversation as well as to help children identify and fight their worries in a real way.

The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbooks for Kids by Lawrence Shapiro & Robin Sprague

Written by two child therapists, this book contains more than fifty activities kids and parents can do together to help both parents and child replace stressful and anxious feelings with positive feelings. This book includes relaxation techniques and short activities children can do to create a sense of fulfillment and calm. The idea in this workbook is not only for the child to feel calm, but also for the parents to reduce their feelings of stress and overwhelm. 

Websites

7 Ways to Help Anxious Kids

http://lets-explore.net/blog/2010/02/7-ways-to-help-anxious-kids/

Anxiety Disorders Association of Canada - Childhood Anxiety

http://www.anxietycanada.ca/english/childhood.php

Anxiety BC Website (there is a section devoted to parent and child, but they also speak to resources for youth, etc.) 

https://www.anxietybc.com/parenting/parent-child

Anxiety in children is more common than you think and chances are a child in your life is suffering. Children can suffer from a variety of anxiety disorders, some of which are the same as what adults suffer from. Various situations can bring on the intense feelings associated with anxiety – and sometimes it is difficult for the child, let alone their parents to know what those situations are and what they can do to help. If you are concerned that your child may be experiencing anxiety, the first step is to talk to be supportive and contact your family doctor about getting assistance from a mental health professional. Rest assured that children can overcome anxiety with the right tools and support.