Toys Your Children Will Play With

I've never been a great housekeeper - I keep my home clean (i.e. I try to keep up with the dirt, spills and crumbs), but I don't do so well when it comes to clutter. And clutter is what seems to happen once you have children. It starts slowly - family will buy your child gifts, because hey, it's fun to buy for children. Before you know it your child is being invited to birthday parties and handed bags full of small plastic things that you step on when it's 11 p.m. at night and you're trying to find your way to the bedroom. The mountain of toys begins to pile up and soon you're feeling overwhelmed.

Chances are, your child is feeling overwhelmed too. Kids enjoy structure and order as any adult would, and they'll often play with toys that are in view, as opposed to the ones in the overflowing bins (the bins that were actually meant to organize your stuff in the first place).

Recently I'd had enough, and filled several big boxes full of toys that I knew my girls didn't play with. I took time to observe them in their play, and noted what they actually used.  The rest were donated to Value Village. The lists below are obviously individual and will depend on your child, so leave a comment and tell me what your family can't do without!

TOYS THAT WILL BE USED EVERY DAY

• Books: I realize these aren't exactly "toys" but they do take up a lot of space in playrooms and bedrooms. Choose books for the quality of their writing and graphics, and regularly purge the ones your child doesn't read.
• Crafts: playdough, markers, paper etc. We've got several craft drawers full of stuff my girls can access whenever they want. Paints are kept up higher so that I have control over when these are brought out

TOYS THAT WILL BE USED REGULARLY

• Play kitchen with fake food
• Cash register
• Child's camera
• Dress-up clothes
• Blocks, Lego, and other stacking toys
• Vehicles: cars, trucks, trains, tractors etc.
• Dolls
• Dollhouse
• Cards and games (only if parents make a point of playing!)
• Outdoor or indoor sports/active equipment

TOYS THAT WILL RARELY BE USED

I find these are the toys that come out whenever we have guests over. Other children are good at looking through bins and finding things your child hasn't played with in a long time. It's debatable whether you keep these ones around the house!

• Anything with batteries
• Anything that makes noise
• Ride-on toys (bicycles not included)
• Children's tents
• Year's "hottest" toy that you bought on a whim
• Plastic crap - this includes all random plastic figurines, jewelry, Barbie accessories

What would you add to these lists?

The Best Ways to Prepare for Life with a Baby

The other evening I had the pleasure of attending a Better Beginnings Night at the Ottawa Birth and Wellness Centre. This was an event that reached out to any person looking for more information about pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum resources here in Ottawa. We saw women very close to their due dates, as well as women and their partners planning for pregnancy. There were birth doulas, postpartum doulas, chiropractors, and various businesses offering information and free samples. This got me thinking - what are the best ways to prepare for pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum? I think we all know the more obvious ways to get ready: prep the baby's room, attend regular prenatal appointments with your healthcare provider, and purchase baby supplies. But research has shown that women and partners who are well prepared for the reality of postpartum life tend to fare better in terms of adjustment issues and perinatal mood disorders.

So as your "in-house" doula, I present to you the top tips for preparing for life with a baby (hint....this involves a lot of classes!):

1. Take a prenatal class - one with an actual live teacher. The City of Ottawa now offers a free online course, but research has shown that your interaction with a teacher and/or classmates will enhance your learning. You also want to make sure that the class you choose focuses primarily on labour and birth - stages/phases, physiology, comfort measures for pain and  unexpected outcomes.

2. Take a yoga class - start in early pregnancy, and continue practicing as much as possible throughout each trimester. You not only prepare your body for the physical rigor of labour, but you teach yourself relaxation skills (the KEY to having a healthy birth)

3. Take a baby/newborn preparation class - most of us have absolutely no experience with newborns before we decide to get pregnant. In order to be comfortable with all the challenges you will face as a new parent, you need to understand newborn behaviours, sleep patterns (no, newborn babies do not sleep through the night!), and diaper, feed and carry your child.

4. Make a postpartum plan - it sounds silly, I know. "I need a PLAN to parent my child?" Yes, you do...at least in the beginning. You will be shocked at all the little details you hadn't thought of once baby arrives. Who is nearby to give you support? How will you get breaks? Who will cook and clean the house? Walk the dog? If you take time to think about these things before you enter the postpartum phase, you'll feel less overwhelmed.

5. Take time to hang with your friends who have become parents. Ask them questions. Hold a baby, and offer to babysit several times.

The clients I work with who adjust the easiest to postpartum life are the ones who have:

- a lot of family nearby - husbands/partners that can stay home on paternal leave (if this isn't possible due to financial reasons, plan who else you can call on for assistance) - lots of experience with newborns - taken prenatal classes - lower anxiety due to proper physical activity, meditation or relaxation skills, and yoga

Did you adjust well to the postpartum phase? What made it easier on you?

Flashback: Taking the mourning out of mornings

I just came across this post written by Carly a couple of  years ago. I need these reminders now that we're back in school routines! With the possible and occasional exception of my husband, we're not morning people around here.  I think I've mentioned that a time or ten in the past.  And now that the Little Man is back to being on the school bus every morning at 7:40 am, not to mention being gone for a whole day and therefore needing more crap stuff, I knew I needed to get my bum in gear so that mornings wouldn't be a nightmare.

I've got two and half months before my maternity leave ends and I'm back to work full time.  That means two and half months where my only task in the morning (is it terrible that I shudder a wee bit inside every time I type the word "morning"?) is to get just the Little Man out the door and on the bus, clothed, fed and watered.  Come mid-November I'll have to add myself and the Baby Man into that mix.

Knowing this, I started planning ahead for that eventuality.  I may have a hate-hate relationship with mornings (shudder), but I love me some organizing.  Here's what we're doing . . .

1. Must-Do Posters Inspired by a similar poster designed by Kids in the Capital mom, Kim-Anh, I made these:

They're on the wall between the kitchen and the powder room and the Little Man loves checking them every morning and afternoon to ensure he's crossed his "must-do's" off his daily list.  My personal favourite on this list?  Choosing his clothes for the next day the night before!

2. "Make" Breakfast the Night Before We've all heard of making lunches the night before, which we do around here too, but Mr. Tree was quick to point out how much easier it would be for the Little Man if we set out everything he needs for breakfast before going to bed every night.

Since the Baby Man wakes up at the same time as the Little Man, and still needs a grown-up to feed him, I put out what Jake will need for his breakfast the night before.  Thankfully Jake loves a good, big breakfast but dragging stools or chairs to the necessary cupboard to get everything he needs out in the morning is time consuming and leaves us tripping all over each other.  So his bowl, spoon, cereal and honey are put on the table for him, and the milk is left easily accessible in the fridge.  Whenever possible, I get his fruit and yogurt ready to go as well.

3. Making use of the Powder Room Like most kids, Jake is an easily distracted dawdler.  Imaginary friends can suddenly and unexpectedly pop out of anywhere, urgently needing his attention.  Sending him upstairs to floss and brush his teeth every morning was taking anywhere from 3 to 30 minutes.  So we put a second toothbrush (for everyone in the family), toothpaste and flossers in the powder room on the main floor.  Amid the hustle and bustle of everyone in the family getting ready, Jake finds it easier to stay focused on the task at hand.

No running back upstairs (to get dressed or brush his teeth) also ensures he doesn't get sidetracked by the ALL! THE! AWESOME! LEGO! in his room.

4. No TV in the Morning This was a tough one for Jake, as there's nothing he loves more than chilling on the couch first thing in the morning watching a fifteen minute episode of pretty much anything on Treehouse or Disney Junior.  Like a lot of children (and adults), the Little Man has a hard time focusing on more than one thing at a time.  Even having the news on while he eats is distracting so we're working on limiting TV even for the grown-ups to the first 10-15 minutes after the hour or half hour . . . to catch the weather and traffic.

5. No Dishes in the Morning If it doesn't go in the dishwasher (we prefer to wash some of our kid-friendly dishes by hand), it gets left neatly in the sink to be washed later.  Right now I'm doing those dishes once Jake is on the bus, but I plan on teaching my recovering perfectionist self to just leave them there until I get home from work.  Sure it's not always fun to walk in the door to a sink full of dirty dishes, but since mornings and I already struggle to get along, this works for me.

And one of the very important reasons I'm choosing not to do dishes is because I want us to have . . .

6. Ten Minutes to Hang as a Family As I write this we're only on the second day of school and so we're still working on this one.  I'm trying to make sure we're setting aside ten minutes in the morning to just touch base as a family.  Ten minutes for Jake to sit on the floor and be goofy with Noah.  Ten minutes to read a short story.  Ten minutes to express our hopes for the day ahead or just talk about a crazy dream we had last night.

I'm a night owl at heart so I'm always interested in what works for other families.  What do you do to make mornings less mournful?

Carly has red hair and occasionally the temper to match.  She loves potatoes, rainy nights, photography, her husband, and her sons Jacob and Noah.  Probably in reverse order.

Are you ready for back to school?

Some of us have already gone through back to school and the rest are coming up to it quickly.  I'm on my fifth year of back to school and I thought I'd share a few thoughts.  Please add any other ideas and tips to the comments below!

Clothing

• What still fits?  We go through a fashion show and get all the kids to try on all their clothing and depending on the kid, clothing gets moved to their younger sibling, or it gets put into donation or consignment piles (the older the kids get, the smaller the consignment pile gets ;)  It's a great time to purge all the stuff that doesn't fit any more or that has been destroyed.
• When possible, I try to get my kids' clothing used.  There are lots of great ways to do that in Ottawa, including great consignment sales (the Hot Tots is September 6 and the MBFA sale is on September 13) and there are all kinds of Facebook groups where people sell clothing, toys, etc, not to mention sites like Used Ottawa.  Leave a comment telling us what your favourite place to get used clothing is!
• Another great option is to have a clothing swap with your friends.  Kids go through clothing so quickly as kids and they play so hard in them, I'm all for keeping it as affordable as possible!

Making memories

I'm not always a super organized mom but the one thing I've always done is take first day of school photos.  I love seeing how the kids change over the years!  Make a point to take a shot on the first day of school.  We take ours in the same spot every year outside our front door.  The bricks really show how much they've grown from year to year.  Unfortunately this means we can't move until they're all done school now ;)  If you're worried your skills aren't going to capture the moment as well as you'd like, there are lots of photographers now offering back to school sessions too :)

Being mentally prepared

A lot of the hardest part of back to school is being mentally prepared.  Just remember:

• Breathe.  :)
• Don't sweat the small stuff.   (For all the planning I tried to do with clothing my daughter wore one of the most ridiculous outfits ever on the 3rd day of school.  If it isn't inappropriate weather wise, I just go with the flow )

Extra stuff

I asked people to share their back to school tips with us on Facebook.  Come add yours (or put them in the comments here!)

Want to share your back to school photos with us?  Do that on this Facebook post!

Bit of Momsense shares so great tips on back to school shopping and lunch ideas.

Happy back to school everyone!!

Eye Exams for Children

Did you know that eye exams are recommended for children as young as 6 months old? The Canadian Ophthalmological Society urges parents to seek an initial eye exam at this age to help with early detection of vision problems that can contribute to developmental delays, educational setbacks, and behavioural problems in children with difficulty seeing properly. Well, we didn't exactly make the 6 month appointment, but I finally got both girls in at 20 months and 4.5 years :) Although many schools and doctors will provide simple eye screening tests, a true eye exam should be performed by a Doctor of Optometry (Ophthalmologists are MDs who specialize in disorders of the eye, and you do not need to see one for an eye exam. However, you may be referred to an ophthalmologist in the event of eye disease or surgery).

A simple Google search will pull up a number of different optometrists. I screened through several of the websites, and found one that I liked just down the road. Dr. Bender was really welcoming and professional, and made my girls feel right at home.

The Dr. performed a number of tests, and they related to my daughter's level of comprehension and verbal abilities. My 4.5 was able to read letters of the alphabet, whereas my youngest is barely talking. I was amazed what the doctor could learn just by using various instruments!

So far, their eye health is great, with just a couple things to look out for down the road. It gives me comfort knowing that we've had them checked out. Most eye disease is preventable, and there are clear signs that doctors can spot during exams that you may not even notice. Just because you can see doesn't mean nothing is wrong :)

And bonus? Eye exams under 20 years of age are covered by OHIP!